I dont really know how to describe my mood, anxious ,doubtful etc u can say its all the negative thoughts. While i write have thousand thoughts in my mind, the opposite sign of + has made a cloud in my head, and the events happening around me are increasing it. Its been days since i have had days, i am acting stupid but i have to do it calm me down. Sometimes its better to satisfy your curiosity than to let it ruin your brain especially when you have exams a week later.

To be true my mind and heart are taking me to different things, in such situations what should i do seems very unclear. Me being a follower of "The Secret" should not be writing this, but seriously have no option. God if you there if you really exist please grant this wish to me, worked hard for it have always sincere towards it please want to be on the winning side this time ............ :)

Restless, sleepless all these words are just a percent which describes my feelings. Sometimes i wish we had some kind of machine by which we could look at our future so to curb this anxiety. If there would have been any other person in my condition trust me, he would have never carried so far, i took the courage and made the bold move. It a word which takes you the past,It was so fine till December so perfect ,then it happened...My immaturity led me to those events because of which these feelings have come. Though the "fight" was resolved but things are not the same.

Now as one more holidays come, GOD please give me the summer of 2008 back, really love her, have always done it conditionally. I know there others who like her ,but really thats not my concern. Heaven bestow this miracle on me .... I need it. Wont mention her name here..

Girl i love you,more than u can imagine will keep you happy...Come back to me like the same way...

GOD please make this wish come true please please............................................................................

waddup, i am back after writing my tiring boring blah blah blah etc exam. Are exams the only way to trust a person's intelligence...NAH!

Anyways lets leave the topic for exams for some other day when we all are feeling the heat of examination. Today i met my friend my online friend for the first time, as she had come to town for a shoot. She is the same as i had imagined, a matured lady and as usual having the smile which all women have on her face...HAI the smile sometimes really penetrates your heart..

So we met at a local restaurant quite a famous one and began our conversation over a cup of filter coffee. Man it was awesome,coffee in the purest form is so so.....umm cant think.

During our conversation a small bird like fellow came to take our order,he was just like the other waiter( sorry to say that) but the one thing which stood out in him was the way he greeted and met everyone.The smile was always on his face ,most importantly everyone who entered or left the place met him and went making me wonder what is so special about him.

Later as i began to chat with him,got to know his name was lingappa or aka LINGO.He has faithfully served the place for 42 years,thats awesome for me atleast. Like the coffee his heart was pure as he said " Yahan pe jo bhi ata hain mera dost ban jata hain". LINGO has met many personalities in his innings of 42, the list goes from

Smita patil

Raj Thackery etc etc .

As LINGO went to get our bill something stung me, wasnt a bee but his smile it never vanished. He is so determined his life that through the virtue of his goodwill hardwork or whatever you might call he has made his son successful. One is a doctor and the other one is presently doing mba.

LINGO got our bill, and though we paid it i did not want to leave the place,he made everyone around him so comfortable. As time was not on our side we had to get up before leaving he asked my name,i gave it to him to which he replied "baba mujhe bhulna mat,kyunki main nahin bhulnga thume". I left with a big smile on my face and ask my friend if we could make a documentaries on such people.

They dont do something extraordinary, its just that even if problems come their way they face it with a smile and make the bad into good.In today's world were negative energy is filled everywhere such people still exist and perhaps are the best examples on how to live a life.

Bad patches come everywhere,its how u face it determines your strength.

Thanks LINGO will never forget you, especially since you have taught me again how to live me life :D :D

Why do heartbreaks happen??

I mean from the past few weeks all i get to see is people breaking up sorry for being monotonous but just dont get the point,just speaking to my friend right now the guy who loved her so much just broke away from her and BANNED from calling her. Does it make sense, this girl has never seen him in his life still she gave all her trust to him he cheated and dated someone else. Even this has not stopped her from loving him and now when i ask her "You wanna move on" to which i get the shocking reply " Gaurav even if I want i cant move on, if he is happy by not talking to me then even i am happy". Whats there in love which drives people like these, someone else might call madness but dont you think its a courageous move to stand by someone even though that person doesn't care, guess thats what they call loving someone unconditionally. Awestruck thats what i am right now,hope the guy does understand her. Why is destiny inspite of me not believing in it so harsh upon others and for some who dont even care get the best out of life.

Is it the right thing for her to move one or stay is her personal choice but on a macro level there is no alternative,when a person becomes an inseparable part of u i guess there is no turning back. Even if there are thorns this will girl remove it for him and make sure he gets a bed of roses,she will be his shadow which he cannot see but will always walk with him,each of her prayer will be for him. ................. OH holy one instead of bestowing miracles on people who really don't deserve it spare some time on her .

Almost in tears , you truly are an inspiration at- least to me.

Keep loving him with all your heart one day he will come back after,maybe its just a blizzard which is hiding the sunshine days for u...

THANK YOU

is it the end of the road,

or their might be a bend,

just knw I cannot pretend.

Cant hide the tears in my eye,

nor can i see u sigh,

or just have to ,

stay

with this feeling till i die

dont knw what u feel for me

but the world knws wat i feel for u

will be the same till the end

just say this is not the end...

Well just a poem....kinda have generated this habit to write. Feel everyone should write,one can express yourself very nicely.You dont have to use big words,its just about making sense. I am sure everyone has it....okay the day has just begun will be back at night...

tc

Talking with my friends at my college canteen i was told a shocking thing about our Pune University. They have removed the year down system as result of which a student can keep "n" number of backlogs. Though its a bold move but i feel its the cost of education,though i am not a scholar,but yeah i do know the value of education. This move i feel is a very desperate to produce a quantity of students rather than focusing on quality.

The education system in our country has to be improvised if we have to curb poverty,in a country of 1.5 billion education can be the best self defense weapon.

Well leaving the education system behind lets move to the annual budget as it is going to effect a larger base of people ( nearly the whole country). Petrol is on the rise again,up by 2.5 rs. An ideal situation for the sale of The Nano, as it gives a good mileage and we have to agree money will be the top most priority for the middle class. Now its the time for the Car giants to make car which gives a better mileage, I mean if they do make one it will create a new market for them with the help of which their sales will definitely go up. I mean in India there will be lakhs of people to buy a car which gives 16 to 17 km per liter,thought they have to compromise a bit on comfort.

Hmmmmmm moving on have left with only one thing left to say and its her...

know i am crazy,but according to me love is the only place where u should be crazy. In the words of Mr.Morrision " Dont you love her madly, Dont you need her badly"..

Well thats it for now hope to come in the night again.....till den :) :)

today

Well a fairly slow day in college,bunked the lectures and wasted my time when i should have been studying as my midterms are around the corner. Though i am having fun with i am doing a voice and the picture of her is still there. Life took an ugly turn and .............

Let the past lie in the lap of the history,now i am living in the present where the feelings remain the same and where hope has no boundaries. I guess its time to follow my heart and just relax,life is not over and i will surely get another chance.

Okay change of topic i am sure if i start writing about the face in my heart i will go on and on. So to begin or rather mid-way through this blog,just wanted to say that Mr.Sachin Tendulkar is GOD everyone saw what he can do with his bat. His innings was so clinical it looked as if a surgeon was performing an operation. Wonder why this comparison of a surgeon with a cricketer has come, but moving on,his life definitely teaches how to be determined and committed towards a goal.

The day has turned into night now,and i see my room is basking with the moonlight,its time to sleep...

Would love to end with a line which is also my status msg on facebook

"I see your shadow where ever i go reminding me to love you"